Author: someoneelsesmom

someoneelsesmomhttp://advicefromsomeoneelsesmom.com
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Good relationships start with good communication

In order to have a good relationship, you have to be able to talk with the other person in your relationship. You share your feelings, your hopes, your dreams. You share the very best of yourself in a vulnerable way. Never assume that you understand, always check for meaning and respect what you hear as confidential and vulnerable. Take good care of each other’s words. Sometimes you’ll need to vent. Always clarify that you are venting and you don’t need a solution to any problem, you are just venting. When you feel angry, say so and ask for time to yourself to regroup and compose yourself. Continuing an angry conversation is not likely to turn out well. Communication is two way. It includes speaking and listening. Remember to breathe and have courage.
Your relationships with people will be better if you develop your relationship with God through prayer and listening. Ask God to help you with your words and to help you listen to understand. Pray in the moment for your conversation. God, give us the words we need to share.
Your relationships with people will be better if you look at your interior self talk. Do you speak kindly to yourself? Do you take care of yourself through prayer and time with God? Do you eat right, exercise, and rest? I heard recently of a priest giving a penance of taking a nap to someone who was struggling in a relationship and mentioned their concerns during reconciliation. Great idea! Take care of yourself and your communication with others will be better. Avoid acting like a tired two year old.
There have been many times in my marriage when my communication with my husband and/or my children was like that of a tired two year old. I wasn’t at my best but rather at my worst. Here is where forgiveness comes into play. We won’t always be at or best and we need to try to listen for understanding and be loving and forgiving. We need to say we are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then we need to plan a better time and try again. Keep communicating, keep trying. Share a list of items you want to discuss in advance so that you can both think through your thoughts and be prepared for open communication.
Let us pray, oh God, please bless our communication with each other. Help us to listen and hear with ears of love, understanding, and forgiveness. Help us to speak with kindness and clarity as we seek to be understood. Help us not to blame. Help us in all our communication through Jesus our Lord. Amen.

Love, Mymom
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Waiting too long to ask

Are you taking your relationship for granted? Pope Francis recently asked young people to have the courage to get married. It does take courage and love and faith to take the leap and get married. Christian marriage takes preparation counseling, planning, bringing two families together. It can get really complicated and people everywhere telling the couple it can’t be done. I tell you it can be done. If you want to be married, seek out couples who are married for advice and stop asking your single friends. We may make it look easy but I assure you it takes work and love and commitment everyday. It takes forgiveness and humor. It takes prayer. So don’t wait too long. Make your commitment to each other. Love each other enough to be vulnerable and trust that your future will unfold and God will be there for both of you.

Oh Heavenly Father, please bless the couples who want to make their commitment but hesitate looking for the “right” time. Help them to seek your blessing and enter into marriage with you as their center through Jesus Christ Our Lord. Amen.

Love,
Mymom

Healthy body weight

As you grow From teen into your adult self, your body changes. For women, your hips and thighs fill out and take on a more womanly shape. For men, your chest fills out and you take on a more manly shape. You will gain a few pounds. This transition is hard for some people who want to stay in their teen age shape. Truth is, the only way to stay in your teen age shape is with unhealthy eating and exercise habits which may lead to an eating disorder.
It is normal to go from teen sizes to adult sizes in clothing increasing 1-2 sizes. How much is too much? I recommend talking to your doctor or using a website like http://www.healthcentral.com which has a simple to use ideal body weight calculator. If you are in your healthy body range, congratulations. If not, ask your doctor for a plan that may help you. It really isn’t about weight, it is more about healthy eating habits and regular exercise. Healthy eating includes 3 -4 fruit, lots of vegetables, 8 ounces of protein, 2 -3 dairy and 2-3 whole grains daily. I’m short so I’m on the lower end of the range. Men will need to add a serving or two in those ranges. Healthy exercise is 30-60 minutes a day that includes cardio and strength training. I do 30 – 40 minutes of walking each day or 60 minutes if biking. I also do 10-15 minutes of push-ups and squats for my weight training each day. Apps I find helpful are myfitnesspal and 7-minute workout by Lolo.
Let us pray, Dear Heavenly Father, help me to take time with you in prayer each day, to eat healthy and exercise sufficiently as to be well. Thank you for my health. Thank you for this new day. In Jesus name. Amen.
Love,
Mymom

Give 200 percent

In relationships, give 200 percent and prayerfully seek the person who will give 200 percent. There is no 50/50 in a good relationship which leads to a good marriage. 50/50 says that I have expectations that we will each give half way to make us whole. In fact we each need to give 100 percent, better yet 200 percent. I’m all into this marriage. I’m my husbands biggest fan and he is mine. I am the person God chose to be my husband’s partner. God counts on us each day to be His eyes, ears, hands, and feet to accomplish His work as a team. God gave us each other. 200 percent. Let us pray.. Oh God, You are the source of our strength. Be with us and help us to see you in our good times and to allow You to see us through our bad times. In Jesus name. Amen. Mary mother of God, pray for us. St Joseph, pray for us. May we model our marriage after the Holy Family.
Love,
Mymom

Cold Weather

I ride the light rail train to work each day. This winter has been challenging as we have had more cold weather than I can ever remember. This morning was -6 degrees Fahrenheit with wind chills to -20. I remember the first day of sub zero. It was very cold like today. The governor shut down the state and closed the schools and we were all glad. Now, to be honest, it doesn’t seem all that cold. I guess I’m use to it now.

I think pornography or bad language is like the cold. At first it shocks us but after being bombarded by the sights and sounds, we just get used to it. It is still every bit as cold and shocking but now our senses are use to the cold and the shock. Unlike the cold which will go away, the bad words and images which surround us are always there. Be careful what you get use to.

Oh Heavenly Father, help us to pay attention to the things around us. To bundle ourselves and protect us from anything that would harm us. Keep our eyes and ears fixed on you. Through Jesus your son. Amen

Love,
Mymom

Ask Mary

John 19:26-27  When Jesus then saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” From that hour the disciple took her into his own household.

Jesus gave us His mother as our spiritual mother.  Jesus is God.  Mary is His mother, therefore, Mary is the Mother of God.  God asks us to honor our father and mother.  He honors His own mother and listens to her.  Jesus brought His mother to heaven with Him.  She intercedes for us and leads us to her Son, Jesus.  I honor his mother and I ask for her prayers, just like I ask you to pray for me.  Mary listens.  She cares for us as our spiritual mother.  She is always there to listen.

It occurs to me that the devil doesn’t like the close relationship Mary has with Jesus.  He also knows how influential she is.  If the devil can make us think Mary is insignificant, then he cuts us off from the Spiritual mother who cares for us and can lead us close to her Son, Jesus.

I love the Hail Mary prayer.  “Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with you.  Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.  Holy Mary, Mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death.  Amen”

I say this prayer knowing who Mary is; the mother of God.  I worship her Son Jesus.  When you are troubled, remember to ask me to pray for you.  Remember to ask Mary to pray for you.  Mary listens and Jesus listens to His Mother.  God Bless You and may Mary pray for your needs.

Love,

Mymom

Abortion and choice

When I was a teenager in the 70’s, I imagined what I would do if I got pregnant before marriage. I told my boyfriend that I would leave him for sure if that happened. I wouldn’t want to feel like he stayed just because I was pregnant. I knew I would move away from all those I held dear and get a new start with my baby in a new city. Fortunately, that didn’t happen to me. We went on to marry and have our children in God’s good time. But why did I feel so independent about my choice options. Why wouldn’t I choose to run to my Heavenly Father who loves me and to my earthly family who loves me and the boy who loved me then and loves me still. In my most troubled thoughts or times in my life, I always picture myself alone. That is just how the enemy attacks. He isolates us in our own thoughts, he separates us in our despair from the very ones who love us and can give us comfort, Dear Heavenly Father. Comfort us each in our lonely despair. Help us to run to you and those who love to wrap their loving arms around us to comfort us. In Jesus name. Amen.
Love,
Mymom

Post Abortion Syndrome

On abortion and choice. When you think about your choices, please remember that I respect you. In my desire to protect your feelings, I may not always say or do the right things but for all of you who suffer the results and regret of abortion, I pray for you, I love you and I respect you. If you have chosen abortion at any time in your life, you have my deep sympathy for your loss. They told you at the clinic it would be over soon and you would never have to think of it again. Yet here you are. Thinking if it many times each day. You see a child of a certain age. Walk by a toy store or drive by an elementary school. You regret. You wish you could go back. You stuff those feelings. You cry but only on the inside. It isn’t popular to share your pain or to talk about the child that you lost. They told you that it would be over soon and you wouldn’t have to tell anyone and that you would forget. I’m so very sorry. I love you and your Heavenly Father loves you. Let us pray… Dear Heavenly Father, Please help this grieving parent to forgive his or herself and to forgive anyone involved in the death of the child. Please heal the deep hurt inside. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Love,
Mymom

http://www.rachelsvineyard.org
http://silentnomoreawareness.org

New Friends

I recently was in Nashville pursuing my dream of writing by attending a workshop called Shaking your Tree given by Patsy and Danya Clairmont. I had the good fortune to meet someone I hope becomes a dear friend. Her name is Cheryl and she is a writer too. Cheryl responded to the call from Danya to offer me a ride from the hotel to and from Patsy’s house for the two sessions that we attended together. Cheryl answered the call and a new friendship is born. That is how it is. Our lives are interconnected. You will meet so many people in your life. Some will be with you always and some for just a moment. Be kind and loving. Be generous in offering yourself just in case this friend will be the one to walk with you on the rest if your journey. To Cheryl, Patsy, Les, Danya, Karen, and the other women who attended the Shaking Your Tree workshop. Welcome. Join me in my journey. Dear Heavenly Father, help us each to have a welcoming spirit. Thank you for each of these people I met in the workshop you fashioned just for me. Thank you for Patsy and for Danya for their sharing of their gifts to help us share ours. Help each of us to see the new friends that you put in our paths and protect each of us from harm. I pray for all of our intentions through Jesus Christ our Heavenly Lord. Amen.
Love,
Mymom

Mary, Our Spiritual Mom

Last summer, my husband and I had the opportunity to attend a book study on Father Michael Gaitley’s book, Thirty-three Days to Morning Glory. In his book, father Michael shares his devotion to Mary and how Mary brings us into the glorious presence of her son Jesus. St Louis D’Montfort, Blessed Mother Theresa, Blessed Pope John Paul, and St Maxmillian Kolbe
all shared a common devotion to Mary. This was a very prayerful study that led me to consecrate myself to Mary and her desire to bring all God’s children to her loving Son. Mary, please use my prayers, my actions, and my life to bring people to your Son. Oh gracious Mother of Mercy, hear all our prayers and take them to your glorious Son. Amen.

Love,
Mymom