In order to have a good relationship, you have to be able to talk with the other person in your relationship. You share your feelings, your hopes, your dreams. You share the very best of yourself in a vulnerable way. Never assume that you understand, always check for meaning and respect what you hear as confidential and vulnerable. Take good care of each other’s words. Sometimes you’ll need to vent. Always clarify that you are venting and you don’t need a solution to any problem, you are just venting. When you feel angry, say so and ask for time to yourself to regroup and compose yourself. Continuing an angry conversation is not likely to turn out well. Communication is two way. It includes speaking and listening. Remember to breathe and have courage.
Your relationships with people will be better if you develop your relationship with God through prayer and listening. Ask God to help you with your words and to help you listen to understand. Pray in the moment for your conversation. God, give us the words we need to share.
Your relationships with people will be better if you look at your interior self talk. Do you speak kindly to yourself? Do you take care of yourself through prayer and time with God? Do you eat right, exercise, and rest? I heard recently of a priest giving a penance of taking a nap to someone who was struggling in a relationship and mentioned their concerns during reconciliation. Great idea! Take care of yourself and your communication with others will be better. Avoid acting like a tired two year old.
There have been many times in my marriage when my communication with my husband and/or my children was like that of a tired two year old. I wasn’t at my best but rather at my worst. Here is where forgiveness comes into play. We won’t always be at or best and we need to try to listen for understanding and be loving and forgiving. We need to say we are sorry and ask for forgiveness. Then we need to plan a better time and try again. Keep communicating, keep trying. Share a list of items you want to discuss in advance so that you can both think through your thoughts and be prepared for open communication.
Let us pray, oh God, please bless our communication with each other. Help us to listen and hear with ears of love, understanding, and forgiveness. Help us to speak with kindness and clarity as we seek to be understood. Help us not to blame. Help us in all our communication through Jesus our Lord. Amen.