I have a family situation that troubles me greatly.  The devil uses this situation to disturb my prayer and my peace.  I haven’t written in a while because these situations are evidence of my failings as a mother and grandmother. Who am I to write any advice to anyone?  Of course, I am no one.  I am a small person of no particular consequence.  I am someone else’s mom.  And yet, God loves me and cares about the people I care for.

Without identifying the details, the situation has to do with two of our children’s families.  They have differing parenting styles.  One family loves mornings, and the other family loves afternoons.   Their schedules are just different.  Their children’s temperaments are different.  Their rift began when two of my grandchildren weren’t interacting well with each other, and this became a repetitive pattern.

Rather than working together to help the two children learn how to interact positively together, the communication broke down, and they haven’t seen each other in 18 months.  Yes, that is right, my family hasn’t been together.  I feel like the failure that I am.  I invite them to come together, but they can’t seem to put aside their pride or their fear or their righteous belief that they are right and the other is wrong.  They don’t love me enough to love each other.  They don’t love God enough to love each other. 

I shudder when I think of the wasted moments.  I shudder when I think that our beautiful family is victim to being offended by each other.  They treat strangers better than each other.  Our grandchildren are learning that their aunts and uncles are choosy about who they will love and who they will forgive.  One granddaughter caught in the crossfire feels the loss so deeply.  Does she think she caused this? 

They need to fix this.  They need to be humble, forgiving, and loving.  They need to want to look out for each other’s interests.  They need to care about each other’s children.  In the world we live in, this can’t be solved. If my bright, beautiful children cannot figure out how to resolve this situation, then it cannot be solved. 

I pray for each of them, children, their spouses, and grandchildren.  I sit with the Holy Family in my prayers, imagining all the trouble they faced, the aunts and uncles, and cousins who never believed who Jesus was.  And then I remember the great commandment. 

“Teacher,^* which commandment in the law is the greatest?”

37^j He said to him,^* “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.

38 This is the greatest and the first commandment.

39^k The second is like it:^* You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  Matthew 22:36-40.

We are all each other’s neighbors.  I used to tell my youngest two children that there will never be peace on earth as long as two siblings quarrel and fail to forgive each other.  Jesus says that we must forgive. 

Read all of Matthew chapter 18.  First Jesus tells us

“Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

2He called a child over, placed it in their midst,

3^b and said, “Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children,^* you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.

4^c Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

5^* And whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me.”  Matthew 18:1-5

Then later, Jesus says,

ⁿ Then Peter approaching asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?”

22^* Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” Matther 18: 21-22

Jesus is crystal clear.  We are to love one another, and we are to forgive one another. The anger and hurt that separate us are held together by pride and sin.  We may not be able to forgive of our own accord, then we need to ask Jesus to help us to forgive.  He will help us to humble ourselves.  We cannot enter the kingdom of heaven holding a grudge against anyone. 

” So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart.” Matthew 18:35

I know that God alone can heal this situation, and I continue to pray for my family to one day be a loving family again, able to break bread with each other and share a meal.   And I hope my grandchildren will be able to play with each other again and learn how to love through their relationships as cousins.  Loving each other as Jesus Loves us. 

Love,

MyMom